You and your ex you must enter into the co-parenting process with an open mind and a willingness to compromise. This is easier said than done for most people, especially when faced with a former spouse who is resistant to compromise and peace-keeping. Medium offers a few strategies for dealing with a difficult ex, so you can make the best decisions for your children.
While it is normal for both parents to find new partners after a divorce, these new relationships cannot interfere with child-rearing. Unfortunately, it is quite common for stepparents to be involved in custody issues, which can complicate the co-parenting partnership. The solution is to designate what the stepparent can and cannot do. For instance, the stepparent can help the kids with daily tasks and chores, such as getting to school on time, but should not be involved in major decisions involving health care or education.
Your ex may also act a bit moody after a divorce, and this behavior can be disconcerting to the other parent. Some people have a hard time adjusting to divorce, and this often results in erratic behavior. If you find your ex is sometimes warm and welcoming and other times combative, the only thing you can do is keep communication open and offer respect. Respect is key in every co-parenting relationship, and even if your former spouse is behaving badly does not mean you should naturally follow suit.
Sadly, some parents even withhold visitation with kids out of spite or resentment. Remember, visitation is court ordered, which means that both parents must agree to the terms created by the judge. If your ex is denying you visitation or making it more difficult for you to see your kids, contact your attorney right away. This is a matter for the court, and you may be able to get the custody ordered modified if your ex fails to cooperate.